LaVergne Lake SUCKS

I had lunch with my friend Amy this week and we've hatched a plan. We started discussing how much we HATE the name "LaVergne Lake Elementary School" which some misguided decision-maker selected as the new name for the new school to be built next year. I was actually consulted about the name last year by our wonderful county commissioner, Doug Shafer. He sadly reported to me, though, that all my ideas for a school name were poo-poo'd because these chicks on the committee (a 3-person committee if I remember) were determined to include the name "LaVergne" in the school name. How they came up with LaVergne Lake, I'll never know. It's stupid. There is no LaVergne Lake or Lake LaVergne. There is Percy Priest Lake, but there's already a Percy Priest School.

I really liked four of my suggestions:

• Stones River Elementary
• Lake Forest Elementary
• Sand Hill Elementary, and
• Oprah Winfrey Elementary

I felt like the first three actually represented our community (unlike the fictitious LaVergne Lake). But I liked Oprah Winfrey since her career kicked off here in the Nashville area and since she's a philanthropist who might think about helping to support the school (since no one else supports LaVergne schools) (a big sarcastic shout-out to Bridgestone Firestone for dumping Waldron Elementary as a sponsor and opting to sponsor a school OUTSIDE of the town you're located in - asshats).

So saying all this, I asked James Evans, the PR director of the county schools, what it would take to change the name. He said we'd need to start a petition, and if we got several hundred signatures, the school board would take a vote and okay the change. So let's all figure out how we can get a petition started to change the name to anything except "laVergne Lake". Any thoughts?