Alone in the World
I talked to a loan officer this morning and he informed me I was the only person in the world who wasn't watching the World Cup (apparently some big soccer game). As usual, I spent another Sunday doing the Realtor-thing. Driving people around. Looking at nice houses. Looking at crappy houses. The houses today were mostly nice except one where an elderly couple lived (before she was placed in a nursing home due to heart problems and her husband died the day she was admitted). Poor things just couldn't keep up the home before their lives turned so drastically. And the kids put it on the market without any repairs, cleaning, etc. It made me sad for the whole family - obviously a sad time to struggle through. But it begs the question of why the kids weren't there earlier to help the parents. Were the parents too independent and refused help? Were the kids out of state and couldn't? Or were they just out-of-touch? One of the daughters-in-law was there and said all the kids were pitching in. But I didn't see it. They met us at the door - him with a cigarette hanging out his mouth, her holding three snarling dogs back. It didn't make for a good impression of the house at all (which is why if you're selling your house, DO NOT BE THERE FOR SHOWINGS.
But about our parents and the time we spend with them... my own Mom's health is starting to fail. She has used insulin for 30 years and worked hard to eat right, exercise, etc. But still, she had a double bypass last October and last month one of the bypasses failed so she had to have a stent put in. I try to call her at least every other day and make sure I say "I love you" before I hang up. I've also made an effort to drive the two hours more often because I want to be with my parents while I can now and not regret in 10 years that I hadn't been there more.
My Dad is also not in great health. He sometimes has "spells" where he gets very nauseous and shaky. He lays down and it passes, but he's weak for several hours afterwards. The doctors have run dozens of tests on him and can't identify the cause. It's not his heart, blood pressure, etc. He did retire when they started thinking the spells were a reaction to mold (he used to climb under houses working on heat/air units).
So I'm faced with the harsh reality that our time on this Earth is very limited. I am going to lose my parents one day and it won't be decades from now. It will be years (and years and years I hope) from now. As they reflect on their lives, do they feel their time on Earth was well-spent?
When I go, will I? I want to leave behind a legacy when my time is up. I understand this is one of the urges that makes us human and compells us to have children. Children are the everyday man's way to impress history. But after two generations, the memories of us as individuals will be gone. So we write poetry and novels. Or we create songs. Or we paint masterpieces. Or we build furniture. Or we enter politics and maybe a bridge or school can be named for us.
What do I hope to accomplish? I want to know that I brought happiness to the people I love. I want to know that my actions may have also brought happiness to someone I don't know. Will I be remembered 100 years from now? Will I have made some contribution that will have an unforgettable impression? I hope I don't accidentally step on the caterpillar that produces the last hope for a meal for a species struggling to survive in 400 years. Maybe one of my daughters will be the first female president. Or their son will discover the cure for diabetes or cancer.
I may never know. But then again, maybe I will.
But about our parents and the time we spend with them... my own Mom's health is starting to fail. She has used insulin for 30 years and worked hard to eat right, exercise, etc. But still, she had a double bypass last October and last month one of the bypasses failed so she had to have a stent put in. I try to call her at least every other day and make sure I say "I love you" before I hang up. I've also made an effort to drive the two hours more often because I want to be with my parents while I can now and not regret in 10 years that I hadn't been there more.
My Dad is also not in great health. He sometimes has "spells" where he gets very nauseous and shaky. He lays down and it passes, but he's weak for several hours afterwards. The doctors have run dozens of tests on him and can't identify the cause. It's not his heart, blood pressure, etc. He did retire when they started thinking the spells were a reaction to mold (he used to climb under houses working on heat/air units).
So I'm faced with the harsh reality that our time on this Earth is very limited. I am going to lose my parents one day and it won't be decades from now. It will be years (and years and years I hope) from now. As they reflect on their lives, do they feel their time on Earth was well-spent?
When I go, will I? I want to leave behind a legacy when my time is up. I understand this is one of the urges that makes us human and compells us to have children. Children are the everyday man's way to impress history. But after two generations, the memories of us as individuals will be gone. So we write poetry and novels. Or we create songs. Or we paint masterpieces. Or we build furniture. Or we enter politics and maybe a bridge or school can be named for us.
What do I hope to accomplish? I want to know that I brought happiness to the people I love. I want to know that my actions may have also brought happiness to someone I don't know. Will I be remembered 100 years from now? Will I have made some contribution that will have an unforgettable impression? I hope I don't accidentally step on the caterpillar that produces the last hope for a meal for a species struggling to survive in 400 years. Maybe one of my daughters will be the first female president. Or their son will discover the cure for diabetes or cancer.
I may never know. But then again, maybe I will.
posted by Kathy T. at 9:26 PM
4 Comments:
Thinking of you during this difficult time.
I lost my mom a few years ago, and it still hurts that she never got to get old, enjoy her grandkids and become of those red hat ladies.
She fought a vicious battle with cancer.
I stayed with her as much as I could, finally quiting my job and freelancing for the last 8 months of her life.
Just wanted you to know, that Squirrelly and I are sending you the good thoughts.
I know where you are coming from. Mom passed 6 years ago. I was fortunate enough that she had moved in with me the last four months of her life. I told her everyday "I love you". Sad thing though, she wasn't even sick, she was the picture of health. She died of a heart attack. I know where you are coming from!
call me I need to tell you something
Dahlin...you aren't the only one not giving a rats ass about World Cup soccer.
You should've whacked the cig out of the guy's mouth and asked him what kind of son (or son-in-law) is he???
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