Someday Sunday
I get so depressed on Sundays. I was raised Catholic and went to church every single Sunday and holy day for the first 18 years of my life. Then when I started college, I went every single Sunday for the first three weeks. Then I stopped. I still go to church sporadically, but I've turned into the people I used to frown upon... the ones who only showed up on Easter and Christmas.
I carry a lot of guilt about this because my own light attendance affects my daughters. I know I should have them in church more. I know it. But when I wake up Sunday mornings, I just can't find the drive to get ready and go. I miss church. But when I'm there I feel like a hypocrite. I love God. I love Jesus. But I don't like organized religion. I think while organized religion has done extraordinary things for mankind, it's also going to be the downfall of mankind.
I just can not get over how people FIGHT and KILL in the name of God, Allah, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha... I thought religion was supposed to be loving, respectful. How can organized religions who give us sermons on love turn around and tell us that love is not right when it's two people of the same sex? Isn't love just love? I think when politicians hijack religion to get elected, we should be wary of them. It just bugs me when I see my parents vote for someone just because their church says to do so. I think it's dangerous when a church dictates who you should vote for and if you do not, it's sinful. But even as I say this, I can't say for sure it's true because I haven't gone to church to actually hear it said. But my parents have hinted at this.
Anyway, I miss going to church. I think I need to find that place deep inside of me that will compel me to go. Because I want to. I really do.
I carry a lot of guilt about this because my own light attendance affects my daughters. I know I should have them in church more. I know it. But when I wake up Sunday mornings, I just can't find the drive to get ready and go. I miss church. But when I'm there I feel like a hypocrite. I love God. I love Jesus. But I don't like organized religion. I think while organized religion has done extraordinary things for mankind, it's also going to be the downfall of mankind.
I just can not get over how people FIGHT and KILL in the name of God, Allah, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha... I thought religion was supposed to be loving, respectful. How can organized religions who give us sermons on love turn around and tell us that love is not right when it's two people of the same sex? Isn't love just love? I think when politicians hijack religion to get elected, we should be wary of them. It just bugs me when I see my parents vote for someone just because their church says to do so. I think it's dangerous when a church dictates who you should vote for and if you do not, it's sinful. But even as I say this, I can't say for sure it's true because I haven't gone to church to actually hear it said. But my parents have hinted at this.
Anyway, I miss going to church. I think I need to find that place deep inside of me that will compel me to go. Because I want to. I really do.
posted by Kathy T. at 11:13 AM
2 Comments:
I know you're Catholic, but if you want to come to my Methodist church with me sometime, maybe you'd enjoy it!
I feel the same way kathy. I feel like I need to be in a church...but I"m just so leery of organized religion these days. Honestly, I'd prefer to go to a church where I didn't know a soul. I hate feeling like other people are judging my soul in church.
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